Smorgasbord Weekly Round Up – Aretha Franklin, Late Spring Bulbs, Corned Beef and Esme’s Party Piece.. and that’s just for starters…

Reblogged – a welcome round up on such a variety of subjects. Loving the Aretha story by William P. There’s something for everyone on here. The book reviews certainly help make choices in reading matter. Gardening. Cookery. The Stars. Wellness and more. From Esme’s Party Piece on the health issues common to the specific zodiac signs and foods that are a good idea to include regularly.

Thanks Sally.


I write when I have the urge. I write to express feelings. I write to explore my imagination. I write about my thoughts and dreams. I write for enjoyment. I write to relax. I write because I like to write.
If you find words that resonate with you, I’d love to hear from you. If you find a situation that reminds you of something, someone, sometime, I’d love to hear from you. Do hope you enjoy reading Cecilyswritings.

THANK YOU FOR VISITING.
I’d love it if you LIKE or follow cecilyswritings, on my Facebook Page
Written by Cecily and posted in May 2018.
Follow my blog Cecilyswritings.wordpress.com

Smorgasbord - Variety is the spice of life

Welcome to the weekly round up with the posts that you might have missed. I have been editing Tales from the Irish Garden and breaking that up with time in said garden, planting pots and (if I am honest) sitting in patches of sunlight reading! It is another lovely day here so will be doing the same, as around here one is not really sure if this is ‘summer’ and you need to make the most of it.

We have some major work coming up with contractors in to lay a lawn and add some new fencing. We have been in the house two years in June and these will be the last of the major renovations…really looking forward to having the garden in bloom again.

As usual the posts this week do not all originate from my keyboard, and a huge thank you to the contributors for their commitment…

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Anaïs Nin – another blog of her quotes on Love and Life

Looking for quotes this evening for my daily posting, I found one by Anais Nin that I loved. Nin, I read, began writing at the age of eleven and wrote many journals over a period of some 60 years up to her death at age 73 in 1977.  “Her journals, many of which were published during her lifetime, detail her private thoughts and personal relationships …” (Wikipedia) I thought to myself, why have I not read her before? Where has she been hiding. But the more I read, I realised I have come across many of her writings in one form or another. At one time or another.

So, I “Googled her”. There is a proliferation of blogs carrying her words … I might as well make my own Anais Nin Page, I decided, where I can return to read them as I wish. Who doesn’t love romance? Reading inner thoughts. This is a small selection. Maybe I’ll add to the quotes in time. Deep. Romantic. Sensual. Emotional. Thought-provoking. Beautiful.

If you like her words, hope you enjoy this selection.

Friends

Each friend Anais Nin.001.jpeg

Throw your dreams into space like a kite, and you do not know what it will bring back, a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country. – Anais Nin

Love and Life

Two ways of kisses.001.jpeg

“I with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” Anais Nin

“Do not seek the because—in love there is no because, no reason, no explanation, no solutions.” Anais Nin

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taste life twice.001

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“I am lonely, yet not everybody will do. I don’t know why, some people fill the gaps and others emphasize my loneliness. In reality, those who satisfy me are those who simply allow me to live with my idea of them.” Anais Nin

“Where the myth fails, human love begins. Then we love a human being, not our dream, but a human being with flaws.” Anais Nin

“How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.” Anais Nin

Closed eyes.001.jpeg

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“You don’t find love, it finds you. It’s got a little bit to do with destiny, fate, and what’s written in the stars.” Anais Nin

“What you burnt, broke, and tore is still in my hands. I am the keeper of fragile things and I have kept of you what is indissoluble.” Anais Nin

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“I feel a little like the moon who took possession of you for a moment and then returned your soul to you. You should not love me. One ought not to love the moon. If you come too near me, I will hurt you.” Anais Nin

“We are like sculptors, constantly carving out of others the image we long for, need, love or desire, often against reality, against their benefit, and always, in the end, a disappointment, because it does not fit them.” Anais Nin

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“Our love of each other was like two long shadows kissing without hope of reality.” Anais Nin

“He, who had done more than any human being to draw her out of the caves of her secret, folded life, now threw her down into deeper recesses of fear and doubt. The fall was greater than she had ever known, because she had ventured so far into emotion and had abandoned herself to it.” Anais Nin

Love never dies a natural death.001.jpeg

“I want to fall in love in such a way that the mere sight of a man, even a block away from me, will shake and pierce me, will weaken me, and make me tremble and soften and melt.” Anais Nin

“He was now in that state of fire that she loved. She wanted to be burnt.” Anais Nin

“I want to love you wildly. I don’t want words, but inarticulate cries, meaningless, from the bottom of my most primitive being, that flow from my belly like honey. A piercing joy, that leaves me empty, conquered, silenced.” Anais Nin

“Too late for changes, too late perhaps for explanations and ideological webs, but the love goes on, the love goes on, blind to laws and warnings and even to wisdom and to fears. And whatever that love is, perhaps an illusion of a new love, I want it, I can’t resist it, my whole being melts in one kiss, my knowledge melts, my fears melt, my blood dances …” Anais Nin

“I had a feeling that Pandora’s box contained the mysteries of woman’s sensuality, so different from a man’s and for which man’s language was so inadequate. The language of sex had yet to be invented. The language of the senses was yet to be explored.” Anais Nin

Excitable person Anais Nin.001.jpeg

“I am an excitable person who only understands life lyrically, musically, in whom feelings are much stronger as reason. I am so thirsty for the marvellous that only the marvellous has power over me. Anything I cannot transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn’t impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls.”  Anais Nin

“What can I do with my happiness? How can I keep it, conceal it, bury it where I may never lose it? I want to kneel as it falls over me like rain, gather it up with lace and silk, and press it over myself again.” Anais Nin

What music to put with these quotes? One of my favourites … Michael Buble’s Everything! It’s a catchy tune with such sweet words.


I write when I have the urge. I write to express feelings. I write to explore my imagination. I write about my thoughts and dreams. I write for enjoyment. I write to relax. I write because I like to write.
If you find words that resonate with you, I’d love to hear from you. If you find a situation that reminds you of something, someone, sometime, I’d love to hear from you. Do hope you enjoy reading Cecilyswritings.

THANK YOU FOR VISITING.
I’d love it if you LIKE or follow cecilyswritings, on my Facebook Page
Written by Cecily and posted in May 2018.
Follow my blog Cecilyswritings.wordpress.com

Humble apologies!

To you, if you received my gooble-de-gook writings … you’ll know which it is! I’m sure you can see that they were my notes as I was reading an article on the subject. Unfortunately, I started writing my notes in the blog on my phone, thinking I would edit later. But I completed the blog on my Mac. And … big mistake … the old version on my phone was not updated … and I sent it … red face!

Thank you for being understanding.

Cecily x

Social media and relationships – Facebook’s dating feature

Parents killed Facebook … but will Facebook’s dating feature revive it?

I’ve been doing some research on social media and relationships because it affects not only people close to me but those in the workplace too. I signed up for Facebook years ago because it was the in-thing with the young graduates we were recruiting at my then place of work. It seemed to be the centre of their lives. I had to find out about it. Those graduates are now 30-somethings. They still meet with their friends not only on Facebook but on other social channels. Meanwhile, the more mature of us have taken over Facebook – the younger set are using Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, and more … they have moved away from Facebook because “Parents killed it”.

The Guardian’s recent article makes interesting reading. Mark Zuckerberg was a mere 19-year old when he launched Facebook. The article states that this year more than 3 million under-24s in the UK and US will either quit Facebook or stop using it regularly. “As soon as parents got in they killed it,” says 24-year-old Jordan Ranford, a now minimal Facebook user who ditched his mum as a friend because she was just jarring.

Facebook join-ups apparently is slowing down; the (Western) market is saturated. Those who are likely to be on it, are on it, we are told.

Facebook’s Dating Feature

The news this week had to come sooner rather than later. It looks like Facebook may make a comeback for the younger ones with it’s soon to be launched Dating Feature!

I wrote this blog some months ago but editing it now (6 May 2018) to include the latest news about Facebook’s imminent dating feature. We all know someone who has met on FB, has gone on to have a relationship, or have broken up because of relationships on FB. I’ve been told that Facebook is already a hotbed for dating and relationships. It is natural though. People meet. Relationships are formed.

Our youngsters are already au fait with using dating sites where they meet prospective partners and I know a number who have great relationships, and have even married. The social events that were held years ago are no more. Our parents would take us to big family and friend functions, dances, weddings, etc. where we would meet people of our own ages. Get to know them, date And so forth and so on.

These days with the astronomical cost of weddings, and functions, many are marrying outside the country, making the events more intimate with only close family and friends. Little chance of meeting a ‘stranger in the night’. Our youngsters have turned to social media, it is the norm for them. Many of them are ‘streetwise’ as far as dating sites go.

So, Facebook, what a way to get the youngsters back!

I read that Facebook’s Dating Profile will be separate to the normal timeline profile. The feature will be open to singles (?) and apparently will connect people through shared events. This is different to other dating sites, something new. It goes back to the way we met people before social media – at live events. Through family and friends. Someone at Facebook has been doing their research. I’ll be watching to see how it works. I wonder whether this will actually attract the youngsters back?

Relationships and research

I see couples, my friends, people in restaurants, everyone sitting in real life side by side, with their little devices in hand, fingers moving swiftly, chatting. Chatting not to the person sitting next to them. Chatting not to the people who are physically close to them. Chatting not only with friends who are not present with them, but often someone they may not know. Someone they may not have met. Someone who is somewhere in the ether. Somewhere in the Universe.

We all do this, don’t we? We meet someone on Facebook, a friends friend, having never met them in person. We take part in a conversation on a friend’s post, then we start to chat in private such as in Messenger then exchange phone numbers to ‘meet’ on Whatsapp, Google Hangouts or more. I hold up my hands – this is me too. I have connected with people all over the world. Previously, my Facebook friends have always been people I have met, people I know personally, but over the past couple of years, I have accepted friendships from friends of friends who I’ve never met. I’ve also re-connected with people who I knew when I was young. I now have a mere 262 friends, and I don’t ‘see’ many of them regularly or keep in touch on a 1-2-1 basis. I don’t know how people who have 400+ friends, keep in touch on a personal basis. I guess the way to do this properly is to use custom lists to get to the people you want to connect with. Or many are using Instagram for quick photo stories. Over time some of my friends have told me that they see my posts and keep up with me in that way. Facebook does wonders for getting people together. Today, I spend less time on Facebook but I still feel connected by taking time to look at posts when I can. There are only a handful of family and friends who I can honestly say I connect with regularly.

A man wearing a striped shirt and ripped jeans, sitting on a ledge, playing with his cellphone
Photo from Unsplash.com

So, Facebook, it looks like you may have something here. People are already connected on Facebook. You’re just taking it one step further.

With all the hype about these huge social media companies and how they retain and possibly use our personal data, we still go ahead and accept their terms and conditions. Why would we do otherwise? How many of us can honestly say we would close down our Facebook accounts. Although I am not very active on my profile, I still have Facebook Pages for my business, for my writing, and groups that I belong to that are beneficial for me and others I know. No matter what, Facebook knows that they have the upper hand. They own WhatsApp. And now they’re going into the formal dating business too – it’s been informal through their other apps.

It’s in the bag!

No, I can’t do without social media. Concerted efforts are made when I am in company, or even at home with my hubby, to keep away from the smartphone! I have to stop the pings when they are turned on. My excuse for having my phone close at hand? Like many of you, I’m sure, my smartphone has my ‘life’ on it. My contacts. My calendar. My notes. My emails – all four accounts. My messages. My photos. My expenses. My newsfeeds. My social media apps! My son and daughter live away so another excuse I have is … I have to keep in contact with them … actually, they keep in contact with me when they want or need something, or want to say ‘hello’ … and I contact them when I haven’t heard from them for a while.

My original post was about social media and relationships. I’ve added bits in now to refer to the new Facebook dating feature. I shall let the rest of my blog continue on it’s merry way from here … adding as I go …

I waffle again! Let’s get back to social media and relationships. There are many articles about how relationships are suffering because of social media. Although, on the other hand, there are relationships that are thriving, because of social media. I read this 3-year old article recently titled The Impact of Social Media on Relationships. The writer received numerous responses to the question asked – how social media and technology has affected your relationship. Over 2,000 messages were received. I’ll leave you to read it if you wish.

Happy people

My friends and I have talked about the type of information we post on social media (SM) sites. We’ve talked about friends and relationships. We know, as I’m sure you do too, that timelines are filled with photos of happy people, happy relationships, happy friends, beautiful places visited. Our photos of ourselves are only the ones where we look good! We do not show our ordinary selves. The one without make-up. The one that is not ‘my best side’. We want our friends to see us in the best light. Those friends we know, and those we don’t really know. Those friends we haven’t met. Many of our profile pictures are a few years old – do we still look like that? Mine too – at least 2 years old. I’ll get around to changing it one day.

On SM, whether in the public eye or in private, we seem to be much more free with information about our families, about our lifestyles, about what we eat, where we go, who we go with. What we do. We wish our family and friends a happy birthday, good luck for this and that, we show off our children, our grandchildren, their successes, and joys – not failures. We share our losses, our sadness, our problems with friends and strangers. Where once some of us were closed and did not share much, its changed. We confide our most personal thoughts in public. We glean information and advice from people’s own experiences. How lovely to keep in touch in this way. But we need to remember that each piece of advice needs to be taken in the context in which it is given. It may not suit our own needs.

We spend more time talking to friends on social media than we do with our family and the people we are with every day, says research. Social media makes it easy to find people we may have ‘lost’, and makes it easy to meet new people. It’s almost like a dating site. Actually, it is a dating site. [Here’s my reference to Facebook’s dating feature … yes, it had to come. I wrote this blog in March before the announcement this week.]

We talk with people, no matter where in the world they are. We get to know them sometimes better than the people we know in real life. It is no wonder that real life relationships are said to be difficult. We do not spend as much quality time with people in reality but rather spend time with our virtual companions.

Inspiration

But, it is not all bad news. People can inspire. For those who have been living a life that they would rather move out of but find it is not that easy for one reason or another, they can find hope from online friends. People come together who have shared interests, who have experienced the same traumas, illnesses, problems, ups and downs. Groups can show them a way out, can empathise, or provide ideas, suggestions, encouragement, support and hope, or share tips about their skills and experiences.

Lisa’s story

My hope is that Facebook’s Dating Feature does not lure the people who are ‘playing’ but are serious about wanting to find the right person to be with in a relationship. It is not a simple matter. My friend, Lisa, befriended Ivan on Facebook, though a friend of a friend. They hit it off commenting on posts, they found they had things in common. They started chatting in Messenger and then in Whatsapp. Their relationship became quite serious. She liked him. He said he liked her. They decided to meet. Then … everything came tumbling down. He was not who he said he was. He did not turn up for their face to face meeting as arranged. She found out, over time, that he had told her many untruths. From his name, to his marital status, to where he lived!

So Facebook, I wonder how this can be prevented? If ever it can be prevented.

Don’t let bad experiences put you off

This is Lisa’s story. I have other friends who have been through similar experiences with men they met on Facebook. They have even declared their love for the other. This is not uncommon, many thousands of people have met, fell in love, and continued relationships through Facebook and other social dating sites. Many have met and have successful and loving relationships. So, although Lisa was hurt, saddened, insecure, heartbroken, hindsight is a wonderful thing. She says that she finds it difficult to trust easily again. But she will not be put off using SM sites to look for a dating partner. She will just ask a lot more questions, and maybe arrange a meeting much earlier in the ‘getting to know you’ phase.

It’s not only the men

I vented to my friend, Mike, about men who subjugated women to this type of experience. Mike laughed and asked if I thought it is only women who are victims of bad online dating experiences. He told me that men also have to contend with women who ‘mess’ them around. Who have no intention of a long-term relationship but may just be bored with their lives and are looking for a bit of excitement, a challenge. I guess I wasn’t too surprised. If men were ‘players’ then women could be too. Of course Mike wouldn’t say who! However, I decided that in reality, this was more the domain of men. Mike told me that many women were to blame for their feelings of hurt. He said that some women took compliments from men as being a come-on, and it was not a man’s fault if a woman’s expectations were more than the man intended. Well, this maybe so, but I believe there are always two sides to a story.

Married or single

It is not only single women and men who are having relationship problems on social sites. Married people or people in partnerships are just as prone to have relationship breakups due to social media activity.

That’s why I ask the question : how will Facebook know that someone is single when they want to use their dating feature? This is Betty’s story : She told how annoyed she was when Richard, her other half, posted photos of his girlfriends and boyfriends from college, work, and everywhere else, but did not post photos of her to his timeline. She says he spends so much time chatting to his college or work friends, that they hardly have time to themselves. The problem below is quite common :

“… I was with him for four years and all of a sudden his interest in me seemed to decrease, we met and spoke even less than before. I used to see his Facebook and it was filled with new checkins and pictures with everyone else but me, I asked him and he said “you’re just thinking too much – overthinking”, am I? Is it normal that my partner has all the time in the world for everyone else but he forgets to ask me if I’m back to health again after I was sick for four days?…”

Good news

But, as I mentioned earlier, there is good news. I’ve especially heard this with the younger set. Met on Facebook, dated, engaged, married, family … So all is not lost.

So, well done Facebook!

Lessons

All relationships have their ups and downs. Social media has made it even more difficult because meeting people online has its own challenges. Are they genuine? Are they play-acting? Is it really their photo or is it a friend, or a model? It’s also not as easy to meet a prospective partner in real life, people are so busy, there is no time to stop and stare! So, even though there are many relationship problems and social media is said to be one of the major reasons for breakups, there actually can be some good that comes out of it. Many a blog carries tips about online dating. The most important lesson from all is take care and don’t jump into a relationship too quickly.

I find social media and relationships a fascinating subject. I’ll be writing more about it in future blogs.

[Post blog note: So, Facebook, I wonder how your dating will work. We’ll have to wait and see and I’ll have to find someone who uses it to get some feedback.]

For now, my song choice is Kelly Clarkson’s Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You) for all who have had unfortunate experiences, remember the words to this song. All experiences are to be enjoyed and are lessons to be learnt – good or not so good.

Happy Sunday!


I write when I have the urge. I write to express feelings. I write to explore my imagination. I write about my thoughts and dreams. I write for enjoyment. I write to relax. I write because I like to write.
If you find words that resonate with you, I’d love to hear from you. If you find a situation that reminds you of something, someone, sometime, I’d love to hear from you. Do hope you enjoy reading Cecilyswritings.
THANK YOU FOR VISITING.
I’d love it if you LIKE or follow cecilyswritings, on my Facebook Page
Written by Cecily and posted in February 2018 edited 6 May 2018 and reposted.
Follow my blog Cecilyswritings.wordpress.com

Sally’s Drive Time – #Playlist #Music The Requests Part Two – John Howell, Annette Rochelle Aben, D.G. Kaye and Judy E. Martin — Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life

Since the beginning of this series, I have asked you to share your favourite music with links in the comments. I thought I would create a special playlist, sharing the track and link to the latest post of those requesting the song.

Since the beginning of this series, I have asked you to share your favourite music with links in the comments. I thought I would create a special playlist, sharing the track and link to the latest post of those requesting the song. The first request from the first post in the series is from John […]

via Sally’s Drive Time – #Playlist #Music The Requests Part Two – John Howell, Annette Rochelle Aben, D.G. Kaye and Judy E. Martin — Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life  


I write when I have the urge. I write to express feelings. I write to explore my imagination. I write about my thoughts and dreams. I write for enjoyment. I write to relax. I write because I like to write.

If you find words that resonate with you, I’d love to hear from you. If you find a situation that reminds you of something, someone, sometime, I’d love to hear from you. Do hope you enjoy reading Cecilyswritings.

THANK YOU FOR VISITING.

I’d love it if you LIKE or follow cecilyswritings, on my Facebook Page
(c)Cecily Lalloo, 4 May 2018 – THIS ARTICLE WAS REBLOGGED and is not my work … The Feature Photo was taken by me!
Follow my blog Cecilyswritings.wordpress.com

It’s okay to cry. It’s okay not to cry.

Hello! I came across this article as I surfed the web. I read it and thought to myself, there is so much in here that makes sense. It’s things real people do. Real things people don’t do. Real people say or don’t say these things – and may regret it later.

It’s a lesson.

So, this is for my friends and family. It’s not an easy time when you lose someone near and dear and I came across this post titled “64 Things About Grief”.

Yes, we deal with grief differently, or not at all.

Or we don’t know how to react to our loved ones.

At the end of this article is my song of choice True Colours by Eva Cassidy. So love her voice and songs. Do hope you like it too.

Will this article help?

I don’t know.

But it kinda helped me.

Helped me to understand you.

To understand how things are for you.

I wish you whatever it is you wish for yourself.

 

We think about grief a lot around here – we write about types of grief, grief theory, personal reflections, creative expression for coping with grief, practical ideas for managing grief, and on and on and on.  But there are some days that all seems like a lot to take in.  We think back to the basics.  Not the theory stuff, not the ideas about how to cope — just the really basic things that people never tell you about grief.  So, with your help, that is what we have today — a quick and dirty list of the things we wish we had known about grief, before we knew anything about grief.  If it’s in quotes, it is something one of our fabulous readers shared with us on Twitter or Facebook.  If you finish this post and you’re annoyed about all the things we forgot, leave a comment to keep the list going.

I wish someone had told me . . .

  1. No matter how prepared you think you are for a death, you can never be fully prepared for the loss and the grief.
  2. You can plan for death, but death does not always comply with our wishes or plans.
  3. “Stop avoiding and be present”.
  4. “Dying is not like you see on TV or in the movies.  It is not peaceful or prepared.  You may not have a spiritual or meaningful moment . . . It’s too real”.
  5. A hospital death is not always a bad death.
  6. A home death/hospice death is not always a good death.
  7. “There will be pressure from others to move on, even minutes or hours after a death, and this can lead to regrets”.
  8. “Death is not an emergency – there is always time to step back and take a moment to say goodbye”
  9. Death and grief make people uncomfortable, so be prepared for awkward encounters.
  10. You will plan the funeral while in a haze.  If you aren’t happy with the funeral you had, have another memorial service later.
  11. When people offer support, take them up on it.
  12. People will bring you food because they don’t know what else to do.  Don’t feel bad throwing it away.
  13. People will say stupid, hurtful things without even realizing it.
  14. People will tell you things that aren’t true about your grief.
  15. Death brings out the best and the worst in families, so be prepared.
  16. There is no such thing as closure.
  17. There is no timeline for grieving.  You can’t rush it.  You will grieve, in some form, forever.
  18. “There will always be regrets.  No matter how much time you had, you’ll always want more”.
  19. Guilt is a normal part of grief.
  20. Anger is normal part of grief.
  21. “The pain of a loss is a reflection of love, but you never regret loving as hard as you can”.
  22. Grief can make you question your faith.
  23. “Grief doesn’t come in 5 neat stages.  Grief is messy and confusing”.
  24. Grief makes you feel like you are going crazy.
  25. Grief can make you question your life, your purpose, and your goals.  And that isn’t always a bad thing.
  26. We all grieve differently, which can create strain and confusion between family members and friends.
  27.  “However badly you think it is going to hurt, it is going to be a million times worse”.
  28. You may find comfort in very unexpected places.
  29. “You should go somewhere to debrief after care giving”.
  30.  “The last 24 hours of their lives will replay in your mind”.
  31. Trying to protect children from death and the emotions of grief isn’t helpful.
  32. “It’s sometimes necessary to seek out new ways to grieve on your own, find new guidance, if the people who are supposed to be supportive simply haven’t learned how”.
  33.  “You grieve your past, present, and future with that person”.
  34. Big life events and milestones will forever be bittersweet.
  35. Grief triggers are everywhere – you will see things that remind you of your loved one all over the place, and it may lead to sudden outbursts of emotion.
  36. “You lose yourself, your identity, meaning, purpose, values, your trust”.
  37. Holidays, anniversaries, and birthdays will be hard forever.
  38. People will tell you what you should and shouldn’t feel and how you should and shouldn’t grieve.  Ignore them.
  39. “The grief process is about not only mourning the loss, but getting to know yourself as a different person”.
  40. There is no normal when it comes to grieving.
  41. Sometimes it gets worse before it gets better.
  42. “It is normal to feel numb after it happens.  The tears will come. They come in waves”.
  43. Grief can make you feel selfish and entitled, and that’s okay (at least for a while).
  44. Meeting new people, who never knew the person who died, can be hard and sad.  But eventually it can be nice to “introduce” them through stories and photographs.
  45. The practice of sending thank you notes after a funeral is a cruel and unusual tradition.
  46. “People love to judge how you are doing.  Watch out for those people”.
  47. You can’t compare grief or compare losses, though people will try.
  48. Any loss you grieve is a valid loss, though people will sometimes make you feel otherwise.
  49. “Just because you feel pretty good one day it doesn’t mean you are cured of your grief”.
  50. There are many days when you will feel totally and completely alone, whether you are or not.
  51. Grief can make you do stupid, crazy things.  They may be what you need at the time time, but you may regret them later.  Cut yourself some slack.
  52. Grief can make you a stronger person than you were before.
  53. Grief counseling doesn’t mean you’re crazy or weak.
  54. It is okay to cry sometimes.
  55. It is okay NOT to cry sometimes.
  56. “Time does NOT heal all wounds”.
  57. “Grief re-writes your address book”. Sometimes the people you think will be there for you are not.  People you never expect become your biggest supporters.
  58. “You don’t get over it, you just get used to it”.
  59. It is okay to tell people when they are not being helpful.
  60. Watch your drinking– alcohol can quickly become an unhealthy friend.
  61. You will have to face your emotions eventually – you can avoid them for a while, but they will catch up with you in the end.
  62. Talking isn’t the only way to express and process emotions.
  63. You will never go back to being your “old self”.  Grief changes you and you are never the same.
  64. Nothing you do in the future will change your love for the person who died.  Eventually you will begin to enjoy life again, date again, have another child, seek new experiences, or whatever.  None of these thing will diminish your love for the person you lost.

What do you wish someone had told you about grief that we left off the list?  Leave a comment to keep the list going. 

My song to accompany this piece is “True Colours” by Eva Cassidy.

“Don’t be afraid to let them show, your true colours …” see the lyrics here


I write when I have the urge. I write to express feelings. I write to explore my imagination. I write about my thoughts and dreams. I write for enjoyment. I write to relax. I write because I like to write.

If you find words that resonate with you, I’d love to hear from you. If you find a situation that reminds you of something, someone, sometime, I’d love to hear from you. Do hope you enjoy reading Cecilyswritings.

THANK YOU FOR VISITING.

I’d love it if you LIKE or follow cecilyswritings, on my Facebook Page
(c)Cecily Lalloo, 29th April 2018
Follow my blog Cecilyswritings.wordpress.com

Jazz Age Wednesdays 29 ― Hullaba Lulu 4

Teagan’s Roaring Twenties fantasy series. Not only is the story riveting but the illustrations by Rob Goldstein are just gorgeous!

Reblogged … and hope you enjoy reading too.

Originally posted on Teagan’s Books:

 


I write when I have the urge. I write to express feelings. I write to explore my imagination. I write about my thoughts and dreams. I write for enjoyment. I write to relax. I write because I like to write.

THANK YOU FOR VISITING.
I’d love it if you LIKE or follow cecilyswritings, on my Facebook Page

This post reblogged on 19th April 2018
Follow my blog Cecilyswritings.wordpress.com

Teagan's Books

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Hey, Sheiks and Shebas.  Welcome back to Jazz Age Wednesdays

My “partner in crime” (Rob Goldstein) did the video above.  I’m using as a review of last week’s episode.  I’m happy to be able to feature more of the artwork of Rob Goldstein

Update:  Here’s a fun related post that Rob did over at his blog, “10 Everyday Items Invented in the 1920s* — click over and enjoy.

Today we have Chapter 4 of the Roaring Twenties fantasy series, Hullaba Lulu.  The “dieselpunk*” aspect of the story is beginning to show in this episode.  The “three things” Rob sent for this chapter were downright educational.  Some of the “things” take a bit more writing for me to work into the story than others.  So please bear with me for this somewhat longer episode.

 If you need to review…

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